His Own Volition
by SilvineCrescent
Summary: Hawke(m) x Fenris Random collection of one-shots. Mostly set during Act 2 and 3.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh come on, Anders." Hawke fell back in his chair in exasperation, scattering his cards on the mess of coins and empty tankards strewn across the slightly uneven table. "You really are jerk sometimes." Any protest from Anders immediately quenched by the swift kick of Varric's boot against his shin and Hawke abruptly leaving his companions behind as he followed a rather vexed Fenris out of the Hanged Man.

"Hey." Hawke called as he the caught the heavy wooden door to the tavern before it fell shut completely. "Fenris." He called as he jogged to catch the nimble elf up.

"Don't." The glow that shone from Fenris caused Hawke to squint slightly. "Don't." He whispered as his markings dimmed. "I…" Fenris stopped at the bottom of the stairs they had just descended. The pair found themselves standing in the middle of the, now empty, market stalls that littered Lowtown. "Hawke…" Fenris growled lowly, which sent a shiver through Hawke. "You are better off staying with the abomination, are you not? He clearly… enjoys your company." The scorn obvious in his tone as he turned on his heels to face Hawke.

"Fenris…" Hawke gently cupped Fenris' smooth jaw, his thumb traced one his marks down his chin and along his throat. "You know my answer to that." He spoke low as Fenris leaned into his hand.

"We can't… I can't." Fenris clarified, shrugging Hawke off. "It is in your best interest to…"

"Bloody hell, Fenris." Hawke grabbed Fenris' wrist and pulled him back to his chest. "I decide what is best for myself, and can you really blame me? I'm only human." He whispered coquettishly as he used his one hand to hold Fenris against him and the other to tilt his chin slowly up, leaning in, inch by inch. He could feel his breath, sense his heat, mirroring each others movement as they licked their lips. "Fenris…" His name almost inaudible on Hawke's lips.

The taste of the ale didn't phase Hawke. He had Fenris' lips on his again and it was tender. Endearing. Bittersweet. He prayed to the Maker that these lips would never leave his again and for a moment Hawke believed the Maker had answered his prayers.

Fenris clawed at Hawkes tunic as he had left his armour back at the mansion, not expecting any trouble. Reaching up as far as he toes would let him, Fenris repositioned himself so the pair had a better angle. Soon the kiss turned desperately ardent, feverously forlorn. Hawke scraping his fingers in Fenris' silken hair, crushing themselves together, removing as much space between them as possible.

When the pair finally severed the connection, the empty market's air felt excessively cold against their heated skin, prickled against their raw lips and revealed their heavy breaths to the air. They stood holding each other closely for awhile, eyes never leaving the others. Hawke couldn't deny the stir in his breeches any longer and, in a way that can only be described as dragged; dragged Fenris to the closest alleyway he could find. He pinned the smaller elf against the wall and began peppering him with fervent kisses, smiling into Fenris' neck at the glorious moans he was rewarded with. Hawke pressed for more and more, longing for an even more pleasing reward.

"Hawke." Hawke's name escaped as breathless gasp from Fenris's mouth. "We should… go… it's not appropriate." He managed to make out from in between groans and moans that escaped the squirming beauty he had trapped.

"We're fine here." Hawke responded and quickly dropped to his knees and began working on the ties to Fenris' armour. While glancing up Hawke was struck by the look of… _What?_ Curiosity. Fear. Lust. Hawke couldn't quite place it, but he need not ask the question as Fenris took over Hawke's hands, undoing the remaining armour that blocked Hawke from his lower half. Lust won, Hawke noted with a mischievous smile. It wasn't long before Hawke was undoing his own trousers, caressing himself as he allowed Fenris to reveal himself. Licking his lips in preparation, biting down on them to hide the groans that tried to escape.

When Fenris had finally freed himself, he slowly undid his gauntlets.

Left…. Clang….

Right…. Clang….

His hands suitably free from anything that could hurt Hawke. He brushed a thumb over Hawke's lips. "It's ok." Hawke reassured him, allowing Fenris to move his hands into his own scruffy brown hair, gasping with the shiver that waved through him.

Fenris' touch sometimes came like the jolt of a shock spell to Hawke, sending his hairs on end, shooting energy through his nerves, setting something deep within alight.

Hawke moved forward with the coaxing from Fenris' hands, using his own hand to guide the elf's stunning hardness to his lips. Gently pressing caressing kisses along Fenris' tip. Happy with the whimper that sounded from the now glowing elf Hawke continued his advance, taking most of the tip in. Intoxicated from the taste. Enthralled by the sound of his name leaving Fenris, in an all too glorious growl.

Hawke slowly continued his pace, steadily taking in more of Fenris each time, bringing his tongue in on the pleasure when he felt Fenris needed it. Eventually, Fenris set the pace of Hawke's bobbing. His hands scrunching into Hawke's hair causing a longing twitch to take over Hawke. Releasing his hand on Fenris he moved past his own pleasurably paced strokes, leaving that hand to its own affairs and slipped into his loose breeches and found his entrance calling out for its own attention. Inserting his middle finger, he moved it slowly at first to adjust himself before turning to more vigorous movements.

Hawke groaned as Fenris pulled his head back and looked down on him. Both breathless, panting with longing, both close to their end, yet Hawke froze and met Fenris' gaze. Fenris was scared. The fear from before creeping into his lust filled eyes.

"Hawke. What if I…" Fenris released his grip on Hawke's hair and leant on his shoulders. As if the weight of his body had just doubled. "I don't know if…"

"Fenris." Hawke carefully pulled his fingers free and gently placed them onto Fenris' forearm. It was burning and almost thrumming from his markings. "You can. _We_ can." Hawke tried to reassure him.

"But…"

"No." Hawke spoke sternly this time. He needed Fenris to see he was here. Right in front of him and he was going nowhere, he pulled Fenris onto his knees as well and grasped either side of his face. "Tell me everything. Everything you remember, it won't be gone then."

"Hawke." Fenris leant his forehead against Hawkes. "What if the problem is I don't want to remember?"

"Then look only at me and forget." Hawke breathed against Fenris' lips as he brushed them. He couldn't make this decision for him, Fenris had to be the one to choose to put his lips upon him.

The moments passed by and tears began to threaten to burst forth from Hawke at any moment. It hurt so much to have Fenris so close, yet nowhere near at all. Their first night together was an experience that had deeply scared Hawke. It was alarming to Hawke how deep he felt for the ex-slave warrior elf, a feeling that came from nowhere. It creeped in like the cold of winter, resonated within like a thunder clap, as profound as the daily miracles of life and at the same as profound as the idea of the Fade and Andraste herself. It's love, Hawke had thought to himself on numerous occasions when his thoughts somehow always drifted back to Fenris.

Hawke's lamenting was interrupted by the soft response of Fenris' lips. Slow pecks that increased in pressure, that dared Hawke to allow his tongue to enter, that gained a guttural hum from Hawke as his bottom lip became trapped between teeth. "Only you, Hawke." Fenris became feverish, his hands slipping up Hawkes soft blue tunic and exploring all they could of the man before him. How Hawke loved the feel of those callous hands. "Hawke." Fenris continued to repeat his name and how Hawke became far too excited from it, desperately clawing back.

"Fenris." Hawke managed to speak between the dancing of their tongues. "Please." He pleaded as he took control of Fenris' wandering hands and led them down to where he really wanted them. "Please." He whimpered as Fenris pulled his lips away and he chased after them.

"Up." Fenris commanded, pulling Hawke from his blanking mind. "Stand up against the wall." Fenris spoke slowly and clearly and Hawke happily complied.

"I'm not sure…" Hawke began, the need from his convulsing muscles making the task of standing a little too difficult. But Hawke needn't have worried. Fenris quickly whipped the clothing that covered their lower halves off and lifted one of Hawke's legs over his forearm.

"Fuck." Hawke buried his face into Fenris' neck, wrapping his arms around for support. Fenris was deceptively strong and when the needed arised, just as it had now, he was quite capability of supporting the larger human rogue. "Hurry." Hawke threw his head back as Fenris nudged at his entrance. "Fuck." He whimpered again. Hawke was no stranger to such acts, but with Fenris it felt ethereal, yet significant. Ephemeral, yet perennial. Something he truly feared to live without.

"Garrett." The sound of his first name dazed Hawke slightly. It was odd to hear Fenris use it, but Hawke knew he would certainly want to hear it again. "Garrett. Can I?" He asked and only got a desperate nod and grunt in return. Taking that as permission, Fenris thrust forward, gaining another grunt of approval from Hawke. Slowly retreating and thrusting forward again Fenris set a steady pace, awaiting instructions from Hawke while he continued to search for the spot he had found last time.

"Maker." Hawke called out as Fenris hit exactly where he was hoping to. Continuing his assault Fenris found himself cursing as Hawke attacked in return. Nipping at his ear. Sucking along the collarbone he could reach. Neither of them was going to last long at this rate. Wanting to make sure Hawke reached ecstasy first, Fenris repositioned the arm he had under Hawkes leg to help support him better as Fenris used his free hand to pump Hawke. It didn't take much effort before Hawke buried his face into his shoulder, squeezing his hug around Fenris' neck and cooing his name into his sensitive ear. The orgasm brought along a spasming of Hawke's muscles which pushed Fenris over the edge himself. Releasing himself inside he tugged at Hawkes hair to pull him free from the crook of his neck and crashed their mouths together. Trying only to think of Hawke.


	2. Chapter 2

Hidden in the shadows, Fenris stood watching Hawke's manor. He had stood in this very spot too many times to count. The Hawke estate was grand, tall and well built; much like its owner in Fenris' opinion. The first night he arrived in his favoured spot, Fenris had meant to cool his head after thinking in circles., his thought always leading back to Hawke. But, he found himself returning again and again.

Fenris shifted himself back slightly, more into the shadows as Anders appeared with a chirp in his step. Without much prompting Fenris felt the curl of his lips, it wasn't just the fact that Anders held an abomination inside him, he abused Hawkes friendship and was just plain obnoxious. Though Anders probably viewed Fenris himself, in such a way, and with this thought a sense of guilt washed over Fenris. He still struggled to this day with what transpired between Hawke and himself. It was on that night he realised how much of mess he was, how much Hawke offered him with nothing he could offer in return. Fenris knew he could be anarchic and broody, no thanks to Varric for that trait. He would surely befoul the loving and sarcastic Hawke and Fenris would be damned if he would let someone like Hawke who brings so much to this forsaken world, fall at the hands of himself. What if one of the fights with the slavers? What if Danarius? Fenris had to shake such thoughts from his mind.

"Anders?" Hawkes gruff voice pulled Fenris from his melancholy thoughts. "What are…I wasn't expecting you?" Fenris watched as Hawkes arms folded and his eyes narrowed, glancing in his direction. It sent a smile across his face at thought of Hawke being unhappy with the mage. Maybe Hawke was beginning to see how bad it was to have someone like that abomination around.

Though there had been awkward moments and times of unsteadiness between Hawke and himself. There was never anything on Hawke's part to push Fenris away. Their arguments would be heated but pass quickly, there awkwardness would disperse with one well placed phrase. They had fallen into a steady, definitely odd, rhythm of longing in private and indifference in public.

"Hawke." Anders nodded. "I have a rather interesting proposition for you, if you would like to hear it?" Fenris almost growled when he watched the mage slip past Hawke without even a hint of invitation. Hawke closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them, and Fenris could have sworn they moved to look directly at him again. A small shiver ran up his spine and left him with a shudder, matched by a sigh from his lips. Even from this distance Fenris could imagine Hawke's golden eyes shimmering like honey in the low light of the evening. Fenris enjoyed the way he sometimes felt them survey over him, like they were tasting him with every breath. The way he would catch them directly and fall endlessly, never to be seen again if not for one of their companions or unruly enemy giving reason to break. It was nothing like the hollow eyes of the past he was use to. Fenris muttered to himself in Tevene upon Hawke turning on his heels and closing the door behind him.

Fenris had lost himself in thought on more than one occasion when it came to Garrett Hawke. He had considered during numerous incidences to try and take his obsession elsewhere. But Hawke had been the only person he had ever truly, to his memory, chosen to be with and the thought of someone else touching him in such a way was, was something he did not welcome. Fenris' thoughts quickly turned dark, what if Hawke had turned to Anders or even Isabella, she would gladly fuck any one of them, he couldn't bare the thought of Hawke with another. The anger that rose in him with the thoughts that that abomination had touched Hawke. Had shared something so intimate. Wasn't Hawke and Fenris still… _No,_ Fenris thought. We are not openly together. Hawke could have any number of people… _No,_ Fenris reprimanded himself again. Hawke wasn't like that.

Seething, debris fell around. Fenris' gauntlet creaking upon the rock that crumbled into dust at the presence of his strong fist. Hawke wouldn't, he couldn't Fenris tried to convince himself. But what right did he have to say anything at all? He had decided it was the best for them, for Hawke not to be so intimately involved, it took the target off Hawke's back.

Turning on his heels to leave Fenris began to march, lining his walk as if he would simply walk on by Hawke's estate. The light of the evening was slowly ebbing away leaving the streets of Kirkwall eerily empty as Fenris, with his barefeet and cat like footfall made his way to Hawke's door. The need to know was slowly eating its way to the forefront of Fenris' thoughts. What had Anders come to visit Hawke? What were they doing? They weren't surely doing that? He leant in slightly, straining his pointed ears to hear. But nothing, no voices. Maybe they weren't in the entrance anymore. Maybe they had already moved on to the bedroom?

Click.

"And how can I help you, Fenris?" Hawkes voice boomed out, speaking with an obvious smile. One to which Fenris could imagine perfectly, he had after all memorised every detail. The slight curve of the right side, the crows feet that had slowly over the year began to etch into the corners of Hawke's eyes, the cheeky gleam that would be shining through them, all honey and charm. Feeling the heat boil up from his neck and spread pinkish across his cheeks, Fenris stepped back straightening up and with his mouth ready to speak. But what do you say to your kind of lover, but not lover, that you were not eavesdropping when you were clearly eavesdropping?

"Ummm…."

"Um." Hawke chuckled before stepping out and closing the door quietly behind him. "Really?" His eyes were more dull than Fenris had recalled earlier to himself, surely this was that abominations doing.

"What is that thing doing here?" Fenris spat gesturing inside.

"You mean Anders." Hawke sighed. Fenris knew Hawke wished that he could at least try to be amiable to Anders. But it was the other party that made that hard to do. "He needs my help Fenris and I'm not…"

"Help?" Fenris crossed his arms, matching Hawke. "His idea of help is going to cause you trouble Hawke." Fenris stated.

"Would you like to come in?" Hawke spoke after moment, stepping aside to let Fenris past. After moments consideration himself, he couldn't bare to leave and so quickly grumbled his way into Hawke's manor. Striding into the front room, the fire lite, roaring. Fenris had to quickly brace himself as a large mabari came bounding down from the landing, to which Fenris greeted him heartily.

"He never does that for me." Anders peered around the corner of the chair he sat on. Fenris had to bite his tongue to himself from marking a remark as Hawke brushed past him, chuckling. "And this is why you waited by the door?" Anders pointed towards Fenris.

"Hey, Max. Down." Hawke called as he sat in the chair opposite Anders. Stopping any other words between the combustible pair. He nodded towards the study and Fenris nodded in response to show he understood. He stalked off to the study, with Max padding behind him.

Fenris had spent many hours in Hawke's study before, being taught to read, he never really considered the implications of learning such a skill. It had never really been an option for him but Hawke had given him that opportunity. He had opened up a whole new world to Fenris, to which the ex-slave was unsure of how he could ever repay him.

The shiver ran over Fenris' body in a quick burst as he glanced up at the statue still above the fireplace. Was Hawke ever going to get rid this place of it like he had promised? Fenris moved on to slowly examining the papers that was messily left on the large oak desk. A request regarding a missing dog, another involving the recent bandit attacks along the storm coast….

"And what proof is there to these allegations?" Hawke's force was straining distracting Fenris.

"Proof. Hawke this man is hurting innocent people. You can't let that stand." Anders voice was loud enough that even without his sensitive hearing Fenris was sure he would have heard.

"Anders, were talking about a templar. I can't exactly walk up to the Knight-Commander and accuse one of the order." Hawke reasoned. "I'll help you look for proof. Then we can confront him." Hawke spoke loudly to be heard over the protest Anders was starting to form. "We need to be smart when it involves Meredith."

"Ok." Anders appeared to reluctantly agree after a few moments of silence. "Ok. Fine. Tomorrow Hawke."

"Yes. I'll be there, don't worry." Hawke appeared to getting increasingly annoyed. "I'll see you off then."

Fenris turned and leaned his greatsword against the staircase. Resting himself against the edge of the desk, Max nudging his head into his knee.

"Do you know what I should be doing?" Fenris ruffled the back of Max's one ear. "How do I leave love behind?" Getting only an odd whine from the mabari, Fenris chuckled. Hawke really had done something to him, here he was asking a dog for advice.

Footsteps. Hawke was just outside the door. Fenris felt himself straighten and cleared his throat, looking over to the opening door, but before much could be taken in, Hawke was upon him. Hands grasping his neck, mouth searching his, eyes fluttering shut.

Resting his hands on Hawke's hips Fenris couldn't help but respond. Leaning into Hawke, inspecting every corner of his mouth he could reach. Their kiss would have continued for time if not for Max's interruption. Nudging his large head back between the pair. Jealous of the attention they showed each other.

"I'm pretty sure Max prefers you over me, sometimes." Hawke laughed through a more chaste kiss. "Are you going to stay?" Hawke pulled back and looked down on Fenris with hooded eyes. His hands never leaving Fenris' neck. Fingers pushing gently into the edge of his hair.

"No." Fenris spoke mutely as he shook his head. "I can't." His voice broke.

"Next time, perhaps." Hawke stepped back, breaking the connection between them.

"Perhaps." Fenris whispered as he stalked to leave. Max running around his feet. "Max, I need to…" Fenris protested as he tried to knock the mabari aside. Max started to bark and bounded back over to the greatsword Fenris had left beside the stairs.

"Your sword." Hawke confirmed, walking over to pick it up. Turning when he heard the footsteps rush him.

Hawke managed to catch Fenris just as leapt into his arms. There lips crashing together once more.

"Well…" Hawke breathed as he softly placed Fenris back to his feet. The grunt from Max as he left the pair in the study alone made the pair laugh.

Slowly backing Fenris towards the desk, turning when they arrived and resting himself against the edge and pulling Fenris in between his thighs, Hawke sighed. Resting down like this meant they were nearly matched in height and Fenris enjoyed being able to get a clear full on view of Hawke's face, he couldn't help his eyes as they roamed over every feature. Leaning in slowly for another round, Hawke happily obliged, groping along Fenris' waist in response. The guttural noises and bucking hips, showing the other they were no longer satisfied with just kissing.

Hawke kicked off his house shoes, pushing up slightly off the desk so he had the moverability to remove his loose bottoms, kicking them off too without breaking his lips against Fenris'. Fenris followed suit and it wasn't long before Hawke was sitting atop the desk, legs wrapped around Fenris as they thrusted against each other. Fenris' strong fingers digging into Hawkes hips, as Hawke's hands roamed along the firm chest before him.

Grunts and moans echoed off the stone walls around them. Hawke's preference for cursing evident to any that could hear them and neither seemed to care if the whole of Kirkwall could. They were only aware of the other and all the pleasures they could gain.


End file.
